"If Someone asks me to Disciple/Mentor them, what do I do? D-Ship 3.1

So in the last post I talked about who to mentor, how to approach it, and how to start it, but now let's get into the nitty gritty of it.

"Living life together" This is a phrase that is used a lot now, but what does it look like and what does it mean?

I want you to know that there are people who have outlines, curricula, and several step processes for mentoring someone. The Navigators organization, Campus Crusade for Christ and other organizations such as these have done a fabulous job, the kingdom has been eternally impacted in part because of the work of these organizations. There are tons of places those things can be acquired.

First, you need to have goals for the person: things that you want to see in, from, and out of the mentoree by the end of your time together. This will dictate how you do what you do.

You as the one mentoring/discipling are the person that is passing something down. You are pouring into the person the things that the Lord has taught you. You are making a family line of disciple that you are the beginning of. Someday, you will be able to look down and maybe see generations upon generations of disciples that were made from this very first person that you mentor.

Imparting of our lives..
So what does this look like? Once again let's reference what Jesus did with his disciples. He imparted what the Lord had shown and done through him. He did this through public teachings that those he was discipling witnessed. He did this through personal conversations with small groups of them and individuals. He also did this through showing them, in his actions, the things he wanted them to know. When they asked a question, he would give them answers. He would often make them think about the answer, whether through asking them a question in return, or through a parable. He often did not come right out and give them an explicit answer, but he prodded them on to thinking for themself.

So when we are mentoring someone, we are giving them the experiences, the successes and failures, and the information the Lord has given us. Essentially, we are going to be a book for them to read. This requires a lot of transparency in our lives as mentor and mentoree and it takes intentionality as well, purpose.

Training

Train them by our example but also by instruction. Jesus trained his disciples in teaching, he trained them in disciple-making, he trained them in healing, among other things.

Training is vital. There are some things that we need to be aware to train those we disciple in.
Scripture- training the person to read it, understand it, it's importance, how to talk about it.
Disciple-making-sharing their faith, maturing a young believer, discipling the person as they go along, instilling in them a passion for God's people and those who are not, YET
Life- Life decisions, like "what about that person of the opposite sex", "what should I do with this job opportunity", "how should I handle this _____".
Family- Men who mentor men will train them to be Godly men, husbands, and fathers. Women will mentor women to be Godly women, wives, and mothers. Teach them how to lead their families if their guys and how to submit to their husbands and nurture the whole family if you are the mother. Train them how to work and have families, train them what it means to have a family Bible time.
Teaching- This is what Paul did with his disciples, he taught them to teach others, how to pass things on. Each disciples needs to know how to share the Scriptures with others, this will bless their families, peers, evangelistic encounters.

Folks, you do all these things not through written lectures, but through life experiences. You ask them when you get together about how things are going in the last few weeks. Ask "what did you read in the Bible this week", and look at it together. How is your relationship with ________, lets talk about that.

Guys, seriously, these things will require times of the mentor talking at length about something. It will require you and the person going on evangelistic encounters together. You go out with some people or someone who you have been sharing your faith with, well bring your disciple along with you so they can watch and learn. Have them in your homes to experience your family with them. Go to games with them, malls, parks etc. Also do things that are working together with them, allow them the opportunity to watch you doing things that help others.

There is more to say but it can be on a case by case scenario, but that's it. Have your goals for the person you are mentoring, and make your time with them point towards that. If your goal is to make a Godly mate for someone one day, or a Godly parent for someone one day, or a Godly person in the world, then you need to take them to the places for them to witness you , and experience with you those things.

You see, while this is low key, it is a huge deal but at the same time it is not a huge deal. It is intentional, sacrificial, authentic, relationship.

"If Someone asks me to Disciple/Mentor them, what do I do? D-Ship 3

Mentorship/Discipling, what is that?

Now, I first off have to differentiate between some things. The family is the primary engine for discipling someone, especially young people, however scripture does have examples of people being made a disciple by other people. Secondly, it seems that many people think that you should exclusively mentor people that have been believers for a while.

People who think this way neglect the Making of Disciples, the going mandate of Matthew 28. This was written in the sense that evangelism and discipleship could be synthesized. This text does not make a distinction between the two in the Great Commission, so this means going to the unregenerate(the unbelievers), sharing the Gospel (the good news of Jesus Christ), and discipling them if they become a Christian .

That is in the great commission Evangelism and Discipleship are intertwined in one term and it is MAKE DISCIPLES. So, before I continue that had to be made clear.

Once again much of this can be found in the Book Master Plan of Evangelism By Robert Coleman, there is also an earlier edition.

The remainder of what I say is applicable to New Christian converts as well as Christians in need of direction, and can be transposed to someone who wants to know how to be mentored or mentor.

First off, who do you approach? If you are a growing follower of Christ, be on the look out for people that the Lord might have you be a mentor to. Keep this in mind because there are a great number of "babes" in our Churches that have been there for years, but are still "babes" spiritually. So look for those who are really interested in growing. These people are noticeable, eager, engaged, have things to add to the conversation. These people don't just show up to corporate worship and walk away, but rather, these people are truly wanting to grow. They are also people that you mesh with personality-wise. You don't necessarily have to have the same personality, but it is such that you would be able to spend large amounts of time and energy with the person. I have had guys that I started to mentor only to point them to someone else because of the stark differences in our personality.

Another way of finding the person that you will mentor is letting them find you. If you are in a position to teach, then maybe you should teach on the topic in your Small Group, ministry meeting, large group, or maybe a group of couples or families that go out to dinner or come over for dinner and strike up the conversation, and direct it in a way of talking about your mentoring, or being mentored. SIDE NOTE. Sometimes you have to plant the seed by educating the people before they know that they need to act on something. This has been my method I have taught about when I was in a position to teach, or I talked about it in a general sense with persons I thought were ready but wanted to see if they thought they were ready. I had one guy that while we were just chatting about the need for me to grow in their faith and I started talking about mentoring. He talked to me a few days later, and I started to mentor him. This took place in a very casual way, not a big deal.

Now when a person approaches me, if they are a person who has been in Church a long time I ask them to read something in scripture and come back to me and let me know,
1. Why would I have them read that in light of their request, and two are there in questions that you have about the passage. I try not to tell them what the passage means. I want to see several things, one are they committed enough to finish the task in a timely manner.
2. It lets me see how they best learn. (do they make a detailed outline, did they just summarize it for me, do they make bullet points and question)
3 It helps to start the wheels on being in the word and starting all this on the word of God.
4. What do they hope to have happen from their time with me?
5. Their conversion story; this is pivotal to understand before you press on.

So from there, we talk about Sin issues in their life, and about where does the enemy know where to get us. The big ones come out and that gives me a base to break down where the sin is in their life and how it manifests itself. I write this stuff down for my viewing only (for the sheer fact of remembering, I don't know about you but memory is not the gift that I am known for). A great book that covers the sin issue and uncovers lots that we don't even see is "The Pursuit of Holiness": By Jerry Bridges

Then this is where the Coleman book comes in, I now know the person on some level I understand where the enemy attacks them, I can see how they learn, read, regurgitate, how they came to know Christ etc.....

D-Ship 2.1

Family Worship

Here are some resources for you guys to peruse and get some great ideas from. The Catechism is basically a confession of faith. Most everything that we believe was articulated in a Catechism. I have met tons of people who catechize their families (sounds scary, huh). This involves memorizing the questions and the answers contained in the Catechism along with the Bible Verses that go with them. In the last 2 years, I have spoken to lots of people who are doing this with their families. They have told me about how this has brought their families together, and it has lengthened the attention span of their children who have ranged from 2-17 years old.

I asked several questions in regards to this when I speak to these people.

How did it work with your young kids?
-"Sometimes it is difficult, but since we started at a young age with our first one, when the other kids were born and get older, they are used to that set time, and they also want to be like their older siblings, so they usually stay in line."

How about when they were older with all the time consuming things that kids do?
-They have said that since this has always been in the family, when the kids got older, it was just a part of life. They also made the point that they had to live a life dedicated to expanding the kingdom of God by obedience to His scripture and Spirit. Soccer practice didn't interfere with this, nor plays, homework, TV, Church things or whatever activity. (Hardcore huh?)


Website By Donald Whitney, Look for the part that says Family Worship
http://www.spiritualdisciplines.org/articles.html#fworship

Website: By John Piper
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TopicIndex/104/

Website: Baptist Catechism Adapted to Modern English
http://www.corefellowship.net/catechism.htm

Website: With the Westminster Shorter Catechisms
http://bible.crosswalk.com/History/AD/CreedsandConfessions/Catechisms/TheWestminsterCatechism_Shorter.html

Website: By Brandon Porter Family Care Pastor at Living Hope Baptist Church
http://www.covenantlifetoday.org/2006/04/online_library.php

Website: Bible Reading Plans for a year
http://www.bibleplan.org/

Resource: A Bible companion that is rich with Biblical insights and life application (Living Hope Baptist Church is as a Church reading book 1 together for the year.)
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=48154&event=CF

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=48162&netp_id=449397&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW

Some other Ideas,

A basic Study time can be from something just as simple as reading a passage in the Bible together, to having a full out Family worship time.

Basic Bible reading: Start with a time of prayer, pray for: 1. Family (immediate, and extended) 2. Friends 3. Lost persons 4. Missions 5. Country and officials.
After a time of prayer, read a Bible passage together and talk about what it means. This is where something like a study Bible with concise commentary would be helpful, but better yet, get the "For the Love of God" book Vol I, II.. The link above will take you to a place to buy it. Then end the time with prayer.

Worship service: Start the same with prayer as seen above, and then move to a time of singing or reading a Psalm together. Read a passage or chapter from the Bible, and talk about what it means. End it with a time of prayer and reflection on what has been read.

If you decide to do a Catechism, read the question and then the response, and then do it again, but have the family respond with question from the answer you have previously read. Then, go to the verses associated with the questions, and look at what it says and how the writer of the catechism came to the question.

Know that you can incorporate any and all of these things into your family worship time. This can be done with a family of Mom Dad and kids, or something that singles do by themselves or with a friend on a consistent basis. It can be done between brothers and sisters whose parents do not come to Church, or are not interested, or with a single mom or dad and the kids. These ideas are not set in stone on a method for family worship, but the bottom line is WE NEED TO DO IT.

Next post will be about mentoring someone else. Mentoring is an extremely important thing that is not done very much at all. 2 Timothy 2 is what we are going to endeavour to do.

D-Ship 2

So what I am advocating here,

Last post I gave a historical background on D-Ship. I discussed what it's not (not just Sunday night topical classes, or working through workbooks) and now it is time to tell you what it is.

Once again, I need to reiterate that I am getting much of this material from antiquity, a modern writer, Robert Coleman, The Master Plan of Evangelism, my personal discipling of others, and being discipled as well.

This is extremely important to the passing on of the faith. First and foremost, discipling of the family needs to happen. Fathers, you need to lead your families in the ways of the Lord. Mothers, you need to disciple your children, not just when they are young, but also when they are tweens, teens, and young adults. This happens at all levels of life.

So how do you disciple someone, either in your family or outside of it?

In your families, discipling needs to happen by example first and foremost. If we want our children to read their Bibles on a consistent, ongoing basis, than we need to be modeling this action for them. Fathers, when you do your quiet time, do it at a time when your children will be around. Do it in your favorite chair, in the living room, or at the kitchen table. Mothers, same deal. Have your children see you read your Bibles. When you are reading, or after, tell them what you are reading and what you are learning, in a real, authentic, natural sort of way. Prayer: pray in the evenings or in the mornings when your children are around, mother and father, both together and separately. Pray audibly so that if your kids are wandering in and out of the room they can hear and see you doing so. This goes to all sorts of ways of praising the Lord, fasting, meditation, singing songs of praise, etc.....
This is not just limited to two parent homes, but is definitely also for homes of one parent. If you are in a single parent home, then you should incorporate these things into your daily routine and let your kids see what you are doing.

The place to start is by living it yourself and teaching your children without saying a word. Teach them by what you do and say, but also having those teach through moments with them that are so natural. I will tell you straight that if you do this, then incorporating a family prayer time and family Bible study time down the line will be much easier because they will have seen you do these things, and it would make much more sense to them...

A key part to this that must be emphasized for those two parent families that the mother and father are not divided on this but it is a collective thing. They are not only separately doing these things, but also as doing these things as a couple.

In my next post I will give suggestions for how to do a family devotional time.....